My brother's wife is a troublemaker?

I think your calling his wife stuck up was just one incident. I don't think you have ever liked her and maybe have been jealous about how she took him from all of the family. What you need to do is write a note to her and apologize. Then do your best to not make rude comments to anyone about her (or anyone else) because it's you that will be left out and not her. Your brother is not going to choose you over his wife and you need to understand that. Write the note and be nice. Otherwise, you are going to find they have little or nothing to do with you.